Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Just Hoping For A Ladder

So, okay. After hearing the news out of California this week that the world will end this Saturday, I've been looking for a sign. Something that would assure me I would not be left behind to "experience 153 days of torment."

Walking down the hall at work yesterday I think I found it. A sign!

Naturally cheered by this, I decided to explore the history of folks predicting the end of the world. I am, after all, here to serve. There is a long list. Here, for your edification, are the more notable ones (note: I could find no mention that the end of the Oprah Show would herald the Apocalypse).

The latest call (apart from the one above) is the end of the world will occur on December 21, 2012. It is the last day in the Mayan's system of calendars – winter solstice, when the earth will be aligned with the sun and the center of the Milky Way for the first time in more than 26,000 years, Most scholars agree, as do modern Mayans, that the fact they ended their calendar did not signify anything. (The authors probably just retired and moved to a nice garden home near Mexico City.)

Greek historian Diodorus was told in the first century B.C. by Egyptian priests that mortals would rule their country for little less than 18,000 years... turns out mortals have been kings of their country for a little less than 5,000 years. I'm not a math whiz but that would seem to give us a bit of time yet.

Isaac Newton noted on the back of an envelope that the end of the world would come in 2060.

William Miller, a Baptist priest, predicted that the second coming was arriving on October 22, 1844. He led his flock up a steep mountain, promising them the secret of life and its miracles. It was a long walk home.

In 1919, meteorologist Albert Porta predicted that the conjunction of 6 planets would generate a magnetic current that would cause the sun to explode and engulf the earth on December 17, 1920. (He lost some professional credibility.)

In 1980, televangelist Pat Robertson alarmed many when he informed his television audience that by the end of 1982 there was going to be a judgment on the world. He recovered his creds enough to go on to run for President in the Republican Primaries in 1988. 

Prognastigator Michel de Nostrdame (Nostradamus 1503 – 1566) quoted, "The year 1999, seventh month / From the sky will come great king of terror." Something probably got lost in the many translations of his writings.

So there you have it. No one really knows when the end of the world as we know it will come. And it's probably not going to be this Saturday (this guy was wrong once before).

Still, I think I'll hold off mowing the lawn until Sunday.


  1. "In 1980, televangelist Pat Robertson alarmed many when he informed his television audience that by the end of 1982 there was going to be a judgment on the world." Actually that judgement did happen. The world was awarded first prize. There were no other contestants, apart from the Moon, which came second.

  2. Thanks Ken, was wondering what the results were. Based on gravity alone, the world wins. lol