Monday, August 15, 2011

Gotta Watch My Dings...

I thought someone was going to call me over the weekend, mainly because when we parted company last week I said, "Gimme a ding over the weekend." And they nodded.

Maybe the nod meant "Yeah, in your dreams." The invitation wasn't meant to obligate them, or that I was actually needing a ding. I meant it as a friendly suggestion. Nothing more.

Of course I'm using the word 'ding' as a euphemism for the word 'call'. 'Call', being such an outdated word, because nobody ever actually calls anyone anymore, do they? So you have to call it something else in order for your invitation not to be outdated... and therefore more appealing.

So, when I said, "Gimme a ding," maybe they thought I meant 'ding' in a different way. Maybe this person is, as I speak, waiting around the next corner to hit me in the head with a baseball. That would also be a 'ding'.

Then again, should I find a 'ding' in the side of my car when I leave for work this morning I'll know where it came from and will assume responsibility for my miscommunication.

Or maybe they thought I meant it as an invitation to hit on me and took offense. As in, 'ring my chimes'. That would have been assumptive, suggestive and completely out of order. Although I think I would have said 'buzz' if I meant it in that way.

I assure you, I meant 'ding' in a purely platonic, politically correct manner... and I did make the thumb-to-the-ear-little-finger-to-the-mouth signal. Maybe they weren't looking. Or they thought I meant something else by that gesture...

(Historical footnote: "Gimme Dat Ding" was a 1970 novelty hit by The Pipkins. Have a listen. It's quite a nice way to begin a Monday morning. And the dancing is fun... Written by Albert Hammond and Mike Hazlewood, it is a lighthearted duet between a deep, gravelly voice and a high tenor. The gravelly voice is a cross between the "dirty old man" played Arte Johnson on Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In and Wolfman Jack. It would become most famous for its use as an instrumental in silent sketches on The Benny Hill Show throughout the 1970s and 1980s and altered to "Gimme Dat Ring" for a Coca Cola ad their new Ring Pull Cans in the early 1970s. The song reached #7 in Canada and the U.S.)


  1. I think you could've been really specific and said call me on the phone at this number, and still wouldn't have gotten a call. People are lazy, but they're usually willing to pick up the phone if you call them. I'm completely with your post about the hand sanitizers and lilac scents, though have never tried to clean house with vodka. I've used vinegar though. My dog likes it when I read actual books. She thinks that's cuddle time. Maybe you need to explain the benefits to your 4-footed friend?

  2. Hey Rand, just wanted to say I love following your blog! What's it going to be today? Comical or thoughtfully sensitive; Mundane or profound? And today I just had to give you a ding for linking that Pipkins video... great fun!
    And, as for cleaning the house with vodka, well... it always starts off with such promise, but usually ends up with me sitting on the floor listening to my old records. (remember records?)

  3. Hi Raymond! Chuffed to hear from you. Thanks for the ding. I do remember record albums. They came first. Before cassettes and 8-tracks. That must be some kind of a record.