Sunday, July 22, 2012

In Praise Of The Retail Jewel

Few things in life provide us with important information as efficiently. And fewer still have the potential to offer a solution to whatever is wrong, should one simply observe enough of them. I'm talking about the window sign, of course, the jewel of retail marketing. Here are several favorites of mine; drawn from memory.

Okay, I admit I may have fudged a few when my memory got a bit fuzzy, but you get the idea of how alluring they can be. Bright colors and a few words. The epitome of simple, direct and to the point.

They are less obtrusive and entirely more polite than brusk shopkeepers standing outside their store yelling at people, and certainly easier on the sensibilities than someone sweating inside a chicken costume. These champions of communication herald the arrival and availability of everything from miracle cures for personal ailments to epicurean delights. They trumpet their special offers with drama and unbridled passion. Said to be the earliest form of modern advertising, these white paper heroes proudly do their duty and, once done, honorably take their place in the recycle bin of yesterday's promotions. Such selfless virtue. 

Just a second, my lawyer's on the phone.

I have been advised to post the following statement...
Disclaimer: These posters are meant for entertainment purposes only. The author is not responsible for any loss or injury, real or perceived, emanating from anyone attempting to manufacture or sell the above products.


  1. I know someone who recently applied for a job to be the Chick-Filet cow. (That's a chicken restaurant.) I couldn't stop laughing about that. I'd hate to think your store banners could deprive the world of a dancing cow!

  2. Does your imagination stop at nothing? Grizzly old men in bathrobes? Egads!