Friday, July 15, 2011

No Dirt Is Safe

Of the amazing grime fighters we have in our arsenal in this space age, my favorite is the mesmoramic, hydroponically-powered sub-light speed A-17(a) ray gun: the most powerful defense in the world against dirty cars, stray grass cuttings and neighborhood cats who poop in your flower beds.

Armed with one of these babies, you are indeed commander of your star space. Phasers and discombobulators may remain the stuff of fiction, but hook this puppy up to a water source and you have unlimited ammunition to conquer a dusty driveway, wayward leaves, pesky kids on your lawn or strangers with pamphlets asking about your religious state. Tired of doing laundry? Hang it on the line and go to town with your A-17(a). Then let it dry in place.

Each side arm comes complete with an AP-91 adjustor. Zero in on specific targets with remarkable accuracy or send a broad range ray out to dampen the spirits of even the most elusive foe.

So bring it on lords of mud: demons of dirt! I'm ready.

4 comments:

  1. Ooooooh I need one of these. I'm pretty sure the pamphleteers have left an invisible black X on my sidewalk though, so maybe they won't be back for me to test hydroponic equipment, but there is that bunny who wants to demolish my garden :)

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  2. haha, o-o-o-o, dat waskelly wabbit!

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  3. And this A17(a) gun attacks the dust and dirt on windows (or mosquito screens if you forgot to close the windows) for a view that sparkles.

    Purchasing the perquisite bottle of ammonia mix lends force to the ray!

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  4. The secrets of multipurpose, optional accessories! Thanks LM!

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