How Much Does It Hurt?

Qualitative scales are all around us and sometimes we get tired of being asked to rate our shite "on a scale of one to ten". Quel ennui.

But things don't have to be humdrum. Here, for example, is a rating scale for pain. There are nine levels without numbers (because ten is just so common and numbers are sometimes just numbers):
None. Think of yourself in your comfy bed, not having to go pee, with cake. And ice cream
Reality TV Star. On par with stubbed toes, while distracting, appearances can normally be tuned out and walked off
Telemarketer. Like a dull headache, this bane of our existence is certainly a nuisance, especially when it calls during dinner
Stupid Commercial. A special quality of misery; the stupider it is, the more it tends to show up over and over again.
Corrupt Official. Nothing a few kind words will fix. It takes advantage of your good nature and needs to be dealt with immediately
Animal Cruelty. A type of distress that digs deep. It makes you wonder who's responsible and how it can be made to go away... and not come back
Child Abuse. Now we enter the realm of the intolerable. This type of insanity defies all logic. Not a level of pain that chanting your mantra is going to help
School Massacre. A totally unbelievable injustice. It makes you forget your name and what language is for, and
Hiroshima. The utmost. This is like the aftermath of being hit by a big truck. Several of them. At once.

We all know that pain of any sort is a message that says, "pay attention, something is going on" and we should use our discretion whether or not to seek medical advice. You might label the levels something totally different and I invite you to take the concept to where it makes sense for you. But you get my drift...

Sometimes numbers just don't do things justice.

Just a thought.