Getting From A To B...

So. I get up from the couch during a commercial to let the dog out last night. Because it's dusk I decide to turn on some lights on the way to the back door. A lamp shifts a little when I flip its switch and I notice the table it sits on is pretty dusty. "Can't have that," I say to myself and so I go get a rag and dust destroying spray can. I spray and clean the dust off the table and as I turn away I find I have to do the other furniture in the room because the newly wiped one makes the others look bad. I put the spray can back in the kitchen cupboard and notice the dog's water dish is empty. I fill it and spill some water on the floor while setting the dish back on the floor. While mopping up the floor the phone in my pocket rings. It's my buddy asking me what model of wifi router I have.

So, I go to my work table upstairs in the work table room and pick up the router to read out the model number on the bottom, inadvertently unplugging it, causing my phone connection to die. I plug the router back in and accidentally knock some books off the desk. I pick the books off the floor and a piece of paper falls out of one. I bend down to pick up the paper, thinking it holds a secret message or something but it turns out to contain nothing of interest and I crumple it up, throw it on the desk where it nudges the mouse and the computer monitor wakes up, revealing my browser window. I see I've received a few new emails (always an exciting event) and sit down to check them out. Most are fluff but in the process of typing I notice I have tragically chipped a fingernail. My computer freezes and I restart it, then put it back to sleep. While doing so I examine the chipped fingernail and decide repairs can wait until tomorrow.

I get up again and stand in the center of the room for a while trying to remember why I originally got up from the couch. Decide the walls need painting and wonder if I should brush my teeth again while I'm upstairs in the neighborhood of the bathroom. I hear faint clicking noises coming from the kitchen downstairs. I recognize that sound. The dog is doing a dance at the back door. I'm hearing his claws on the linoleum.

Oh yeah, the dog.

Out.

Good Shit Syndrome: Quick Reference Guide

So, September is Good Shit Awareness Month. All hail. No monetary contributions required. Sorry for the use of the word "shit". I considered substituting the word "stuff" but it just didn't seem to fill the bill.

All over the world people are doing charitable public awareness campaigns. And it's all so negative. Children crying. Massive suffering. Blood. Gore. I have to admit, with the deluge of needy messages across all media competing with each other for disposable income, I've gone more than a bit "cause blind". With one exception. Try not to cry.

The new cause is aimed at those suffering from Good Shit Syndrome (GSS). Those suffering from this affliction often go unnoticed. These people deal with an incurable and debilitating disease that is often invisible to the eye but to some, mark the end to personal negativity, social media indignity and indicate the beginnings of only being allowed onto sappy girly daytime talk shows. Once the affliction sets in, it cannot be cured but with recent advances in science, it can be controlled.

The effects of Good Shit Syndrome causes one's Indignity Protection System (IPS) to freak out and begin to attack unhealthy personal behaviors and understandable inconsiderate habits. No one knows why, but the result of this attack can be anything from an unhealthy attraction to animals in need of saving to trolling the internet leaving helpful comments to stocking one's house floor-to-ceiling with preserved food waiting to be donated to food banks (leading to the necessity for interventions in hotel rooms and months of rehab) to the failure to refuse giving responses to those in need. Heck, you might also be able to accept entertainment and news reporters as media stars and consider Jason Alexander effective in a serious role. Effective rehabilitation seems dependent on who you are and how severe this affliction hits.

Once you realize you have Good Shit Syndrome, you must try to figure out which of a number of possible infections you may have because there are more than one and you may have a number of them and they can feed on one another. Treatments for these afflictions vary and work differently on different people, which leads to individuals possibly retaining a variety of normal negative behaviors. Some can work and carry out a normal, jaded life inconsiderate of others. Others cannot.

So let's not forget those afflicted with Good Shit Syndrome. They fight a hard battle.