The Complicated World Of Right

The world of design is ripe with those who would turn thumbs up or thumbs down on pieces based on their value systems, mood or blood sugar level. Interestingly, the world itself is full of different cultures, religions, viewpoints, languages, biases, tastes and interests. In other words it's complicated to get along these days. Everyone's empowered and seemingly entitled to their opinion, biases and prejudices. Such is the benefit of a free, messy world.

Philosophers (Plato, Aristotle, Kant) did not address the source of right and wrong, they only say things are the way they are because that's how the universe works.

Moral relativists say that morality is imposed by some external authority, usually society. Bertrand Russell argued that individuals or societies which had certain types of moral understandings had an evolutionary advantage over those that did not.

"Right" comes from the Latin word rectus meaning base, which itself comes from the word reg = movement in a straight line, extension. The first meanings of the word meant "straight, not bent, curved or crooked." It wasn't until the early 16th Century that the word had the additional meaning of applying such mathematical concepts to people "of persons or disposition; disposed to do what is just or good; upright; righteous."

That said, we need to find a way to communicate, to share, to empathize. Across cultures. Across fences and political affiliations. Across a lack of intelligence that which would hold understanding and trust at bay. Because when what's right for the common good is overshadowed by individual ignorance, greed or interests, well, that's just not right.

The Circle Of Life

Put a really old person and a very young baby in the same room and apart from size you'll probably find many similarities. This is not mere coincidence. There is a reason for this. After we reach our peak as adults and get older we slowly begin to return to our original state – the state we were in when we appeared in the world. We have others help us out with stuff we can't do anymore. Memories fade and our skills diminish. Some people are better at this than others. For those of us not yet there it's something to think about because we all may be unique individuals with differences, but we're all headed in the same direction: older. That's right folks, there is no fountain of youth.

If you believe in reincarnation, you might even say that people who lose abilities as they get older are getting a head start on their next lives. We have to shed our old lives before we come back so we can start fresh again in the circle of life. It wouldn't do to remember our old lives because our brains would get full and we'd never end up learning anything new. Some folks wait to shed their old life after they pass away but some people who begin to lose abilities before passing away have less work to do to prepare to come back. And with less work to do maybe those folks get to come back to a new life sooner. So things like a second childhood may be a good thing. And acting younger as we get older isn't just nasty.

It's all poppycock, of course, because we all know growing older is a sad thing to be avoided at all costs.

Doing The CSI Thing All Over The Place

I've been investigating crime scenes all around me lately. As a expert equipped with an official, patented, clue-finding penlight, it didn't take long to begin finding suspicious evidence. Things only a highly trained super sleuth's eagle eye would uncover (don't try this at home):

1) Suspicious looking cleaning products are lurking in the kitchen cupboard, some with the skull and crossbones insignia of a well known street gang
2) I suspect all the ceiling lights in my house have been drugged because they always appear so high
3) Close inspection of the sock drawer has several odd socks mysteriously missing (never disappearing in pairs). Their mates are the main suspects of course
4) When I am asleep, unsubs sneak into my house; sprinkle dust everywhere and drain my batteries
5) Snowflakes (read: illegal aliens) drop from international airspace into the backyard and settle wherever they want without filing the proper paperwork
6) Trace evidence shows someone has broken into my car and left dead leaves on the floor of my trunk (I suspect a ecological, global warming cult)
7) I have found dubious fingerprints left directly on the very end of all my fingers and have sent them to the lab for identification but the perp evidently doesn't have a record

8) Brazen assassins have been posting the day they will kill my cream cheese right on the bottom of the container – daring me to stop them
9) Numerous pictures around the house have been framed for things they didn't do and then hanged mercilessly
10) My burglar alarm goes off whenever someone calls me on my phone and all the lady at the alarm company will tell me is to change my ringtone – I smell a coverup

11) I'm fairly certain that my dog Roscoe is casing the joint for a future heist (he's always looking around) and imagine it involves a payoff of a lifetime supply of crunchy treats and milkbones, and
12) I am investigating the possibility that the covert disappearance of a full roll of my luxury two-ply toilet paper hinges on a visit by three of my female relatives last month. The visit lasted two hours. It may turn into a cold case though. Evidence may have been flushed.

We must all remain vigilant in this dangerous, crime-ridden time.

12 Things That Lack Great Depth

Here we are in the New Year (plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose). I have been giving some thought to things because that seems to be my job these days. Here's what came out of this addled old brain when I emptied it into a strainer and looked for stuff that just shouldn't be stuck in there. Stuff like this:

1) Reality television shows that feature people you wouldn't have over to your house for stale Cheetos and warm beer – let alone dinner
2) Any message, conversation or post I've encountered that includes the word, “bitch” or any derivative thereof
3) Thoughts of setting up a zombie speed dating service. (It's all downhill once you get past "Aaaaaaarghphglugaaarfff")
4) Anything that came out of the Kardashian camp
5) Popular culture sites that open with a pop up window of Miley Cyrus twerking
6) Memories of eating cold hot dogs straight from the fridge at 3 in the morning (without ketchup)
7) How the toilet bowl appears incredibly shallow, until you drop your keys in it
8) Chick flicks disguised as mystery/action films (they no longer fool me)
9) A Valentine's Day card from your dentist reminding you it's time to have your teeth cleaned
10) Those senior's moments we blame for mismatched socks and the times we laughed way after everyone else did
11) Hearing the words, “How are you?” and “Have a nice day” at supermarket checkouts everywhere, and
12) Memes with cats or bears or nerdy people. Or dogs with crossed eyes. Okay, all memes.

A 2014 Message To Your Secret Identity

We all have a number of different roles we take on, depending on who we are, where we are and who we are with at the moment: parent, lover, professional, garbage-taker-outer, clown, miracle worker, couch potato, sports fan, Grand Poobah barbeque chef, dishwasher, super hero... And then we have this private person inside of us ~ our secret identity.

Your secret identity is the you that speaks quietly when no one else is around. It's the you that holds onto your dreams, and the you who understands and lends comfort in those private moments when you're confused or hurting. It's the invisible part of you that puts the twinkle in your eyes when good things take shape and nags at the back of your mind when things are off track. It's the person who knows you best and is always there, in the background, while you're busy making others laugh, fighting crime or cheering on your team.

May 2014 find your secret identity safe, healthy and happy.

Cheers, Rand

My 2013 Top 10 Things That Didn't Happen

As we move closer to the New Year, news people rate their best stories, late night hosts reveal their favorite moments and sportscasters evaluate the greatest games and players. It's only natural for us common folk to reflect back at what has happened in our year too. Hopefully, what we look back on is stuff that happened to us that we enjoyed or made our lives better in some way. Not to be contrary, but I take solace in what didn't happen. Here's my top ten:
10) I wasn't personally twerked by Miley Cyrus
9) The Mars rover Curiosity has not revealed the location of My Favorite Martian
8) The rash I would have been waiting to go away never showed up
7) I didn't unleash my inner sex kitten
6) I never had to sit through a daylong Dance Moms marathon
5) The doctor didn't look at my chart, shake her head, sigh and start talking about best before dates
4) Beer was not placed on the endangered species list
3) Snowden didn't release my tax files... (wait... why is Revenue Canada at my door?)
2) No one looked at any part of my body and said, “Implants, right?”
And last but not least, my favorite thing that didn't happen in 2013 (drum roll, please)
1) Rob Ford didn't raid my fridge.

The One Thing We Could All Use More Of

An expert is someone who has succeeded in making decisions and judgements simpler through knowing what to pay attention to and what to ignore.
Edward de Bono
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“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” ~ Leonardo da Vinci

In case you haven't heard, Christmas and New Year's are just around the corner. It's a season of giving, reflection and resolutions. There are a number of things I'd wish for everyone, but at the top of the list I think I'd wish for life to be less complicated: Simpler. Like the effortless beauty of champagne bubbles rising in a glass.

There is a phrase in the design world: Simple is good. It's one of the most difficult things to master. Keeping things interesting without being boring and bland is a fine line to walk and an ongoing process because every job is unique. Simple means shunning things that make the work irritating and unnecessarily complicated – stripping away everything but the essentials, doing away with elements that delay understanding and superfluous things that only serve to confuse the eye. It means concentrating on the basics of color, movement, organization and balance. And it means telling a clear story.

Simplifying life is like that. It means having less clutter to trip over, fewer distractions and more wide open spaces to imagine great things. Fewer things to worry about and more room to explore. And we all could use more of that.

I was going to write more, but let's keep this simple.

Happy holidays.

The Good Thing About Bad Situations

"For your condition you are in great condition" ~ Hawkeye

We've all been there. Right there where we really don't want to be and where we never figured on being. But one thing leads to another... and we end up making the best out of the situation. And if we're really, really lucky we come out the other end a better person, even if things are a bit different.

There's been a lot of professional online chatter lately about how it's okay to make mistakes as long as we have the right attitude and we learn something. But there isn't a lot being said about those who unfortunately find themselves somewhere they have to put up with a situation that they didn't ask for; but find themselves in nonetheless.

Things like illnesses. Things like disabilities. For those of us either inside looking out or on the outside looking in; who find it in ourselves to perform actions of care, then that teaches us something about ourselves.

In the end it is up to each of us how much we take away and ultimately how much we grow because of it. Some already know that hope for ourselves is built from compassion and caring for others. Even if we have our own troubles.

Here's hoping everyone this holiday season will remember that others are putting up with being where they don't want to be and making the best of it.

And a kind thought is a gift.

Orifices And The Dangers Of Wrong Placement

Warning: this post is in danger of possibly going south rapidly. It's about putting things into things. (You see the need for the warning.) People are always putting things where they don't belong. Feet in mouths, forks in microwaves, monkeys in parkas in Ikea stores. It's a big problem. And it seems like with all this interwebbing going on people are also putting their noses in when really, they might be better off using that time for something higher education related. At one time in my life or another I have been guilty of all of the above (with the exception of the monkey thing). The foot in mouth thing has been a well known practice of mine.

Fingers appear to be a big part of the problem. They're continuously being stuck in noses, pies and eyes. But I want to concentrate not on fingers but on orifices; mainly because they're so cool (for those orifice challenged, it means opening). They're so cool because we all need an orifice to put something into something else which is an important thing not only theoretically but practically. We need to put things into other things like plugs into sockets, movies into players, food into mouths, trains into tunnels... and in some cases we need to let things out to lessen pressure, evacuate unwanted contents (and I'll stop there). The act of putting in is important but potentially dangerous when the object in question is not meant to be there in the first place; in other words if they cause pain, interrupt the natural order of things, or are actions that require surgical intervention to get back out things that weren't meant to be put in (according to the natural order of things). Hospital emergency department and mother in law stories abound.

We couldn't live without body orifices. These openings provide opportunities for feeding, hearing, breathing and other pleasurable experiences. But fools will be fools and therefore someone really should invent an early warning "Wrong Orifice" alarm app. Someone smarter than I should take advantage of the idea. I'll take a cut.

Then again, if that app had been around in the fifties, songs like "Beans in my ears" would have never been written. A definite loss for mankind.

Winter, Snowy Days and Booby Trapped Mittens

Happy December. Seems like just a year ago it was December first. And it seems like not too long ago at all that waking up to the first snowfall of the season was a time of magic, excitement and trying to remember what closet your galoshes were in. Growing up in Ottawa, not the coldest but the snowiest capital of the world (around 200 cm per year), meant adopting a lifestyle where bulky one-piece snowsuits severely limited your range of movement and after spending ten minutes getting it on; the certainty the sudden urge to pee would hit the moment the zipper was pulled up.

One got used to voices muffled with scarves, perpetually runny noses and rosy cheeks. The good thing about mittens was you could make a fist inside them with all your fingers together for warmth. The only bad thing about mittens was when you first started wearing them and your mom gave you the ones with the string connecting them that ran inside your sleeves so you wouldn't lose them. We called them "idiot mittens" and they were booby trapped. The theory was if one mitten was off and one on, if someone pulled on the loose one it would make your other hand hit you in the nose.

And as the season went on the snowbanks became taller than you and walking along their tops became the favorite way to walk to and from school. After school meant building snow forts for snowball fights against imaginary marauders and odd-looking snowmen. Or lying in the snow thrashing arms and legs about to make snow angels and contests to see how far you could slide down the patch of ice in front of your house without crash landing (sliding with feet sideways worked best). And weekends meant throwing toboggans into the station wagon and throwing yourself down snow covered hills. Of course, memories would not be complete without images of ice skating outside (not in some arena) on the school rink and pickup games of hockey on shoveled ponds.

It was a wonderful time of the year back then. One wonders, as we grow older and wiser, what happened to winter? It seems to have become quite the bother. Unless one is looking out at it from inside a warm room beside a roaring fireplace...

What Happens When We Talk

We look around us these days and what do we see? Everything from hate crimes to misbehaving political leaders. It's no wonder we're becoming hardened to injustice; examples of it are thrown at us every moment of every day. We are, in fact, an information-charged generation; desensitizing ourselves to the vitriol of others – relieved we're not the target. We are told about those who are isolated or victimized because they look different, come from different backgrounds or have different beliefs. And we feel powerless to help. (My, aren't I just a regular ray of sunshine today.)

Then, along comes a man in white robes who tells us it's more important to concentrate on our similarities than our differences. He figures, from what I gather, if we concentrate on those positive things we agree upon, that in itself opens up avenues of cooperation and possibilities to make the world a better place. Working together.

Here's what I have gleaned from his actions and words. Respect different lifestyles. Be inclusive, not exclusive. Denounce a capitalistic culture that evaluates a person on a monetary basis. Stop high-level members of his own organization in their tracks who would bling stuff up to impress others. Tone down the traditional opulent trappings of his own office and drive a clunker. Encourage giving to the poor. Love the afflicted.

Even those of us who don't have religion, or who aren't a member of his particular brand of it, have to admire this shift in perspective from powerful jewel encrusted figurehead to simple, humble servant. One who is noted for his humility, his concern for the poor, and his commitment to dialogue as a way to build bridges between people of all backgrounds, beliefs, and faiths.

Cover Your Pizza... Please

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/pizza.html#9usRL23Qrylsh2oc.99

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/pizza.html#9usRL23Qrylsh2oc.99

"You'd better cut that pizza into four slices because I'm not hungry enough to eat six." ~ Yogi Berra

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/pizza.html#9usRL23Qrylsh2oc.99

Maybe becoming an adult does this to you but over the years just I have not only adopted the practice of being fully dressed at all times I have come to prefer my pizza the same way. If I discover a naked pizza in my house I will immediately avert my gaze and rush to throw something on it to preserve its dignity.

Traditional pizza fashion allows for the wearing of a whole variety of items (some things never go out of style). Pepperoni, peppers, onions, olives, mushrooms and a mountain of shredded mozzarella cheese are standard coverings for the typical all dressed pie. I've had steak pizzas that spoke to me in loving tones, hot-hot-hot Mexican pizzas that spoke to me again at the other end the next morning and New Age yuppie wood-oven pizzas with things like pine nuts and smoked salmon that I had to hum Yanni tunes interspersed with rapping beat poetry to get down. Whatever you choose to throw on yours must most definitely hide all that is saucy because it is only proper etiquette that civilized pizzas should never show their sauce.

Of course, I've never dressed myself in any of this stuff – that would just be too kinky. Pizzas, however, are made to be dressed in edible garb. While some wouldn't classify anchovies as edible, everything else you'd normally dress pizzas with generally qualifies as eat-worthy. This qualification does not apply to what people adorn their bodies with. Folks who wear edible clothing tend to begin to smell rancid after a short while if they're not in sub-zero weather. And even then they attract polar bears.

Exactly what I wear is a matter of personal taste and what goes on my pizza is as well. The truth remains, people and pizza share one thing in common. Both should always be properly attired.

The Art Of The Modern Day Laziness Activist

“Lazy is a very strong word, I like to call it selective participation.” Anon

Some words just get a bad rap. Lazy comes from the 1540's term laysy, of unknown origin but odds go to Old German. It replaced both slack and idle as the main word expressing the notion of "averse to work." Human beings are the first animal to pronounce that doing nothing for prolonged periods of time is a bad thing (whereas other animals think that's exactly what to do after you've eaten enough to survive and have mated enough for one day). Then again, we're not beasts, are we? We've got that opposable thumb thing going for us and that carries responsibilities.

We've been taught all our lives not to be caught doing nothing for too long because we're all supposed to be running around full-tilt boogie. It began in the Industrial Age where we all became parts of the machine. Anyone who isn't busy at an alarming pace is suspected of being a laziness carrier (horribly diseased and afflicted) and shunned lest they be contagious. Exhibiting such unproductive behavior is said to be having vegetable-like characteristics (like that's a bad thing, especially to vegetarians), and called couch potatoes or loafing (as in bread). Personally, I prefer indolent because it sounds more distinguished.

Ingenious people (we might call them Laziness Activists but that would be an oxymoron) have been devising ways of creative slothfulness for years. Hence, we have new age activities like meditation, zen retreats, forced solitary confinement, 24 hour COPS marathons, sleeping in front of the computer with your eyes open and zoning out in the middle of a conversation but still retaining the ability to nod at appropriate times. All highly valued skills. We don't hear about these successful heroes often because they go veritably unnoticed.

Which is the point, after all.

Online Haystacks and Engineer Goose Bumps

The almighty search engine. We use them to search for information online. Without them we'd all be wading through the biggest haystack in the world trying to find our needle. I don't know exactly how many there are but I've found 10 English or multilingual general search engines.

Search engines list search results but don't supply answers themselves. They're like the guy named Vinnie we go to in the neighborhood who doesn't have what we want but says "I know a guy who knows a guy who does." They shy away from providing actual information because they figure if they gave us the answers themselves it would be their fault if it turned out they were wrong so to remain blameless they send you to someone else. So, search engines = pure teflon. 

We know we're on a real good search site when they send us a ton of results to our search request (sorted by relevance, popularity and oh, let's throw in some who pay-to-play to get on top of the list) in such quantity and so quickly that what they really want from us is for us to throw up our hands in wonder. They really don't expect us to view all the results. They just want to dazzle us with their science.

To prove this point, if we do a search for the word "search" we'd get about 12,030,000,000 results in .26 seconds. Visiting 12,030,000,000 sites at, say, 10 seconds each would take 33,416,667 hours to do. Or approximately 1,113,889 months. Or 92,824 years. If we all live to 70 years old, that's about 1,326 lifetimes. In other words it would take a team of 1,326 people working their whole lives to cover all the sites offered in the search results.

The engineers out there just got goose bumps of delight. Gotta love 'em.

The Thing About Mayor Ford

From casual research, this is what seems to be a popular assessment of Rob Ford's position (Mayor of Toronto – if you follow news at all, you must know who he is by now), according to gathered assessments on news and social media. The above graphic is not based on scientific data or personal opinion, it's just a chance to depict metaphors visually. I thought about adding reference to the feline race but thought better about being "catty".

It wouldn't take a real sensitive person to already be sick of the saga that has exploded over this issue and tired of hearing about it. At some point we have to feel bad for the guy. Not because, from his own words, he's probably done wrong on many levels as a leader and may be his own worse enemy, but because there's a pretty good chance he needs help. Like this article says, "It's Ford himself who must come to terms with his own personal issues and decide for himself how to tackle them." But hey, the media, comedians and politicians of all ranks around the world continue to jump on this man. They LOVE this controversy and it's all because they're making money, points and gaining attention from their condemnations and comments. Such is the state of media coverage.

Hell, even Charlie Sheen has tweeted to the guy. Come on.

So, good people might be tempted to say, let's start caring for people and concentrating on stuff that helps one another, not on the rabid attention that has the potential to tear him apart.

There Will Be Rubbish

Woke up this morning to Shel Silverstein's Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout prancing through my head. It's a catchy little ditty about a young lady with an aversion to taking out the garbage and her dire consequences. Suffice to say it's not a pretty story (see below). And finally, Sarah Cynthia Stout said, "Okay, I'll take the garbage out!" But then, of course it was too late...

I don't know why it appeared in my head. But it made me remember I have been intimately involved with rubbish all my life. In fact, taking out the garbage was on my list of chores as soon as I was old enough to have chores (right up there with feeding the hamster). I figure it's a lifelong thing for everyone. In fact, my last words to the grim reaper will probably be, "I'm sorry I can't be dead yet, I have to take the garbage out."

We have the all-Canadian rural tradition of weekly dump runs, trash talk, and the new Olympic sport of dumpster diving behind high-end restaurants. Garbage wasn't always such a big deal, of course. But since the industrial revolution and the discovery of plastic, high density apartment buildings and disposable diapers, things aren't made to last. In fact, the health of our entire world economy is based on the luxury of throwing what we buy into a garbage can as soon as possible.

So I got to thinking about this garbage thing and what a growth industry it is. As long as there are people you're going to have a constant supply of stuff they discard. And sometimes I think if I had just gotten into trash in my younger years I could have probably retired well before now, and be bald and hairy-backed, living in some trailer park in Florida with a hot trophy wife; popping wheelies in my very own golf cart. People at the trailer park clubhouse would ask "So, where did you make your money, Rand?" and I'd proudly say, "In garbage." And they'd say, "Gee, you smell pretty good for a guy who worked in garbage all his life." Then they'd laugh so hard at their own joke that their false teeth would fall out into their rye and ginger and they'd pee themselves a little.

Yeah, that would have been pretty cool. Here's Shel...

It's A Dog's World

“You can say any fool thing to a dog and the dog will just give you this look that says, 'My GOSH, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!” ~ Dave Barry

Ever since the popularity of C. M. Coolidge's dogs playing poker (commissioned in 1903 by Brown & Bigelow to advertise cigars); we've been assigning human characteristics to them. It's called anthropomorphism and while some purists will scoff at the idea of attributing people personality traits to animals, in the case of dogs, it's perfectly proper. Because they have them. Anyone who has spent time eating an ice cream cone in front of one knows that.

Even if they don't play poker (it's not because they can't, of course, but because they don't want to) it's nice to know if they wanted to what it would look like. Without C.M. Coolidge's gifts to set the example we wouldn't have Snoopy's Red Baron fantasies. The Lady and the Tramp would have never shared a plate of spaghetti and Beethoven's antics would never have hit the big screen. Judy Garland would never have uttered those fateful words, "Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more." The movie Turner and Hooch would have been about the sad downward spiral of a man and his moonshine. Ten generations of Lassie descendents would have been out of work. Pavlov's dogs would never have salivated on demand.

And this post would probably not have been written. Some might say that would have been a good thing. But it got the Roscoe wag of approval. And he's the boss (around here anyway).

Does It Hurt When You Do That?

Whoever said "No pain; no gain" must have been thinking of the pioneers of social media business presence. From their example we have learned certain fun practices to adopt when engaging with folk on the interweb... especially if you're masochistic or just totally into pain:
1) Knocking your head against the wall. If you have a company social media presence (FB, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, etc.) forget all the nonsense about it being all about conversations and engagement. Your job is to announce and preach. Short and sweet. And don't forget to remind people to comment when they don't, because they appreciate the edgy panic in your words
2) Poking yourself in the eye. Don't post for months and then, in the space of an hour, bombard all your followers with dozens of tweets, retweets and retweets that (obviously) you really sent yourself under a different account name; be sure to copy all tweets to your facebook updates and email these same folks directly as well just in case. They'll thank you for livening up their day
3) Hitting one's midsection with blunt objects. The interweb is not just a tool in the toolbox, it is the whole tool superstore. Because Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and YouTube accounts are free and websites are relatively inexpensive to keep and update, don't bother keeping your traditional paid media ads running. Save money and be a hero to your accountants. After all, everyone is on the interweb these days
4) Shooting yourself in the foot. When people comment negatively, or complain online make sure you don't appear soft. Show them who is boss and, if you find multiple people all making the same complaint across all your social media outlets, make sure all your staff respond to everyone with exactly the same, vaguely worded script. Varying your message to personalize replies is a sign of weakness
5) Holding your breath until you get dizzy. Have your web content ruled solely by proven keywords to get the most SEO effectiveness possible. Don't worry if it is difficult to understand, people don't read content anyway – the main thing is to get people to your site. Draw their eye away with stock photos of things like happy families and vast, inspirational vistas. The rest will take care of itself, and
6) Flogging with a wet noodle. Also be sure to post the same message in all your tweets, page updates and discussion groups for months on end, don't worry about being repetitive – some people just don't get it the first few dozen times they see something. Hire young social media gurus (like a student, or your nephew with a computer in his basement or better yet, an unpaid intern) to maintain everything on a day-to-day basis. They are most likely to have their own Twitter account and Facebook page and already know the lingo and cool abbreviations.

By following the above six handy tried and true practices, you'll be following in the footsteps of many who have learned how to interweb the hard way.

Pretty Ribbons

“The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness." ~ Lao Tzu

The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness.
Lao Tzu
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/awareness.html#4LDukpkBjH971v4C.99

The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness.
Lao Tzu
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/awareness.html#4LDukpkBjH971v4C.99

The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness.
Lao Tzu
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/awareness.html#4LDukpkBjH971v4C.99

The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness.
Lao Tzu
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/awareness.html#4LDukpkBjH971v4C.99

The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness.
Lao Tzu
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/awareness.html#4LDukpkBjH971v4C.99

Throughout the history of the human race philosophers have been trying to figure out what it all means: life, self, meaningful existence, our place in the grand scheme of things... And now, more and more people are chanting mantras, contorting our bodies into pretzels, singing kumbaya and meditating in the hope that all will be revealed and we will pass into a new age of awareness.

Awareness.

Somewhere along the line, folks figured out that the way to help good causes was to raise people's awareness of the need. As a result we have an increasing number of awareness months, weeks and days. Those who build awareness campaigns battle for our attention in advertising, media reports, and special fundraising events (like runs for cures). In fact, we have so many different causes competing for our attention that finding a distinctive color for ribbons for people to wear and put on their bumpers to show awareness and support has become pretty well impossible.

The Process of Engagement

As a result of all this activity, we now have a market so saturated with good causes (watered down with pseudo charities and questionable corporate involvement) that people are now questioning the effectiveness of simply being aware. And while I love what's been done creatively for awareness advertising, awareness is only the beginning – the bottom rung of the ladder. The process of engagement is a multilevel one. It's not enough to ask someone to wear a ribbon or 'like' yet another facebook page and the public is acknowledging that. Simply being aware and clicking a mouse, they say, is not really doing anything. They want to understand what their support means, be informed of the effectiveness of their support, gain a reason they should pick this cause over others and, finally, be given a do-able course of action. In advertising, this is called "the ask". If all they're asked to do is to be aware and pin a ribbon on their chest, that is where their attention will end. The strategy involved in engaging people and achieving goals is a sophisticated one.

And it starts with not stopping at awareness.

The Smile Or Frown Quandary

They say there are three things to never bring up in conversation – at least conversations that you want to end pleasantly: politics, religion and someone's sex life (or lack thereof). This goes for cocktail parties, kitchen table chinwags, water cooler chats and (these days) social media discussions. But how we react to any conversation can have an effect on even the tamest of topics. 

Now I'm no social scientist. Heck, I'm not even a very good judge of character most of the time – just ask my ex-wife. And as I get older I find I'm becoming more and more socially inept and totally vacuous. But in one of my clearer moments I have figured out when someone makes a comment or statement we have two options of how to react:
1) The Smile Reaction. Even if we don't totally agree with what was said, at least we accept that their point of view has a possibility of holding some truth. At the very least, there is room for respect and cordial conversation. Because after all, there are very few certainties in life and who knows, we might learn something and build a new understanding, or
2) The Frown Reaction. We reject the thought outright as asinine without wasting any time giving it consideration. Consideration is just so wishy-washy. If we're going to be decisive and strong and have a committed stance we might as well go all the way and add a bit of nice radical indignation, bait the person with sarcasm and belittle them. This effectively ends any possibility of further communication... and makes life so simple.

There are lots of various reactions, of course, that fit into the social smiles and frowns spectrum, because life is very complex on purpose – it keeps us from being complacent.

Ultimately I've found the way we choose to react puts us on one of two paths. One path has the potential to lead to constructive situations with the possibility of cookies and ice cream, and the other path points to a whoop-ass acid reflux end.

Knowing how our reactions fit into the grand scheme of things may help us decide how to react. It's an abstract theory of course.

One that is open for both smiles and frowns...

Put Down That Disco Ball

jazz up: to make more lively, gaudy, or appealing

What a glorious and boring life we lead that we have to consciously find ways to jazz things up. How one goes about doing that properly has been the subject of many great debates. If you're thinking of doing something to make life a bit more exciting, you may be faced with possibilities that you may have issues with (especially if, like me, you're not the demonstrative type). For example the ear ring in the nose thing may not be for you. New window treatments may prove to be a tad short of scintillating. And it takes a special person to be satisfied by the placement of sparkly things on your shirts. You might think about getting a killer hamster tattoo but if you can't take pain very well that may not be in the cards. Some buy sporty cars, but if you're not the flashy type (aside from that one pair of shorts with red hearts on it) you've probably crossed that off your list of possibilities; especially if you're not compensating for something tiny. You could travel to foreign lands, I suppose, and put up with all those people speaking strange languages and probably get dysentery or malaria. You could install a disco ball in your living room or fall in love and not tell them or collect inappropriate religious figurines or grocery shop in the buff and get arrested or eat something so spicy that it takes the top of your head off...

...or, you could just turn on a bit of jazz...

"Most of the things you are surrounded with you don’t need. But when you have those things around you, it makes you feel good about living in the world. And it gives you something to look forward to, and it also gives you a way to connect with everything that has happened on earth. It’s like real poor people in the country, on a Sunday, would get dressed up and they wouldn’t have any money but just that little hat with the flower on it…just a little something to make you special and make you sweet. That’s jazz music." ~ Wynton Marsalis

Selling, Promoting, and Communicating

I don't write a lot about business because I'd rather write about other things, but there appears to be some confusion about the difference between marketing, advertising and public relations. These three professions have had their roles and relative values blurred over the past number of years to the extent that people have been led to believe that one can cancel out the other. I don't know why. Perhaps there was profit to be made. So I thought I'd offer my thoughts. Please forgive me for being brief. I know I've left things out. It's a blog.

Marketing is the act of selling a product or service and all the business activities that are entailed. Marketers determine the process involved in bringing products or services together with potential buyers and investors. Generally speaking, if you are a marketer, the more products or services you sell, the more successful you are. Sometimes marketers don't care how they do that and resort to nasty practices like telemarketing and spam to help sell their stuff. This practice is akin to yelling out the window of a moving car.

Advertising is the art of creatively promoting a product or service. People in this occupation formulate a compelling message in a non-personal manner; strategically outlining unique benefits using a combination of various traditional and new media. There are two ends of the spectrum for agencies: 1) those in it for the money, who will put out any message as long as the client approves it, and 2) agencies who knock themselves out over creative excellence. The more creative the work is, the easier it will cut through the clutter and reach the minds they are targeting. They figure if they make a name for quality work, the money will follow. Silly creative people.

Public relations professionals are those who are involved in communicating the activities and values of an organization, providing information on a day-to-day basis about a business, product or service and updates that help clientele and stakeholders stay informed. If they are not the actual public voice of an organization they provide the proper words for senior management. PR folks who mislead or practice avoidance are said to be spinning. Not many do that anymore. Those that do are easy to identify because they're blurry (and dizzy).

Marketing, advertising and public relations are three different, valuable disciplines and come from different focuses and perspectives. Working together, they can help build a successful business effort. But clients should not be fooled into thinking that one skill set can do the job of the other.

Six No-Mess Ways To Depressurize

We're all under a Vesuvius amount of pressure these days. It's both performance-related and associated with all the BS that happens around us. Most of us learn to use stress as a motivator and eat pressure for breakfast. But sometimes it can sneak up on us and all of a sudden we have the mind version of a hernia going on, complete with things popping out that we'd really rather not have popping.

There are things that we can do to be proactive about the stickiness of out-of-control pressures. Here are my top six:
1) Stop listening to everyone. This is your permission to go about life ignoring other people. This includes people who go LOL a lot, online special interest discussion groups, listening to self-help/diet testimonials and is especially essential for protection against those who love talking to hear themselves talk. About 50% of your stress will go away instantly
2) Forget about deadlines. Don't set them and don't let others set them for you. Just work. And if someone should ask you when they're going to get something, begin sobbing uncontrollably. Do this often enough and they'll stop asking and you'll have more uninterrupted time to get stuff done
3) Don't exercise. I cannot emphasize this enough. All working out does is increase the chance of pulling something and creating more stress (and pain). Besides, we all know that exercise leads to hard anabolic-androgenic drugs. If you want to sublimate, it is much more time efficient to primal scream at inanimate objects (the kind that can't yell back). My favorite is the microwave
4) Never look into mirrors. Every time you look in the mirror you increase the chance you'll see something you don't like. The way your hair sits (or is missing). Your nose: it's either too big or just sitting there. The dark circles under your bloodshot eyes and the wrinkles that weren't there yesterday. So do away with the mirror-looking thing. And consider hanging out with ugly old folks. I'm available (for a price)
5) Sleep a lot. The unconscious mind is a wonderful thing. It doesn't cost anything, is easy on the ol' bod and it allows all the toxins that have built up in your brain (caused by thinking all day) to be cleaned away (I just heard that today). If sleeping is impractical, because you happen to be standing for instance, train your brain to zombie out or watch chick flicks (same thing), and
6) Be stupid on purpose. If your fear of making mistakes is putting you under pressure, make some on purpose (in private at first, if you have to). By getting used to not being perfect, even if you are perfect (and you are), you'll reset your perfection expectations and get over your fear. And when you get real brave you too can have a stupid blog (like this one).

So good luck with reducing the amount of unsightly stress in your life. Practice the handy tips above and discover the joy of a depressurized life. And remember, the less you shake up the pop can of life, the less time you'll spend wiping sticky stuff off the ceiling.

Drops That Haven't Yet, At Least Not Fully

A water drop on my clothesline from over the weekend. It had been raining all day.

But is it really a drop if it hasn't made it to the ground yet? Do we call it a drop because it will drop sometime in the future? That it has the unmitigated potential to fall to terra firma? Or is it that it has already dropped from the sky and, yet, never made it all the way? Not a very good quality drop if you ask me. It had one job. To fall from the sky and hit the ground.

These, then, would be drops-to-be. Drops that haven't finished dropping yet. Undropped drops. Someone called a clothesline break on the way down and a group got together to chit chat, perhaps about their future potential together as a puddle. Maybe it was an option in their contract that they ticked off while still up there in the cloud. I would like a stopover on the way down. I realize that this will lengthen the duration of my trip, but I'd like to reflect on the moment. An aesthetic approach.

Unfortunately, or possibly fortunately, some never do make it all the way down. If it stops raining they may dry right there on the line (which is quite apropos, it being a clothesline and all) and become moisture in the air. Maybe evaporation prior to impact with the ground was their goal all along. It would certainly do away with that final nasty splat.

And what about dew drops? They haven't fallen at all. And maybe never will. There isn't a therapist in the world that would help those little guys.

Maybe we call them drops before they've actually dropped all the way because once they have qualified as certified drops they aren't drops any more. They're something else: splatters, or mud, or wet spots on the floor. Sad, that. Really.

It is almost all right. Do not stress that "bent image". Refraction itself does not cause distortion of the image. If you look through a thin lens like a magnifying glass the image is not bent. The distortion is caused by the shape of the droplet: it is not a thin lens. It is thick and irregular in shape. You get similar distorted image in a curved mirror.

Read more: http://www.physicsforums.com

Refraction itself does not cause distortion of the image. If you look through a thin lens like a magnifying glass the image is not bent. The distortion is caused by the shape of the droplet: it is not a thin lens. It is thick and irregular in shape. You get similar distorted image in a curved mirror.

Read more: http://www.physicsforums.com

Is Stupid The New Smart?

“I think the problem with people like this is that they are so stupid that they have no idea how stupid they are. You see, if you are very, very stupid how can you possibly realize that you’re very, very stupid?” ~  John Cleese

Last year, Mr. Cleese was responding to a number of questions online and one asked who, out of three possibilities, might be nominated for the Twit of the Year Award. His brilliant response got me thinking because: 1) this ‘twit’ phenomena doesn't seem to be limited to just those few, and 2) none of them are brainless buffoons. They're intelligent.

And then I thought, oh my God, maybe that's the problem.

As someone who has been stupid their entire life, I have come to the conclusion that we have a problem with intelligent people. All over the planet educated leaders and influencers have: 1) put things into disarray over an assortment of competing political, religious and cultural passions, 2) painted themselves into ethical and moral corners with a combination of ambition and tunnel vision, 3) increased deficits while acting like they were saving the economy – at the expense of humanitarian, environmental and scientific pursuits, and 4) in some cases continue to spread distrust and discontent – all because of unjust events that happened long before their birth. I don't have to cite specific examples. Just open up a newspaper.

Stupid people see things as simply as possible, cut to the chase and come up with simple, fast solutions to fix things. Perhaps we need to look at putting our intelligent people through a ten-step program. Call it Smartoholics Anonymous. They would stand up in front of a crowd and admit they're hooked on being intelligent. Their opening statement would go, “Hello, my name is ______ and I am a smartoholic. I have been ten days stupid.” Then, everyone in the audience would sigh, shed a tear and send out a cheer because they'd know this person was on their way back to being well again.

And then maybe we could get on with the business of dimming down all their bright ideas that have just gotten the rest of us into all this trouble.