Friday, December 27, 2013

My 2013 Top 10 Things That Didn't Happen

As we move closer to the New Year, news people rate their best stories, late night hosts reveal their favorite moments and sportscasters evaluate the greatest games and players. It's only natural for us common folk to reflect back at what has happened in our year too. Hopefully, what we look back on is stuff that happened to us that we enjoyed or made our lives better in some way. Not to be contrary, but I take solace in what didn't happen. Here's my top ten:
10) I wasn't personally twerked by Miley Cyrus
9) The Mars rover Curiosity has not revealed the location of My Favorite Martian
8) The rash I would have been waiting to go away never showed up
7) I didn't unleash my inner sex kitten
6) I never had to sit through a daylong Dance Moms marathon
5) The doctor didn't look at my chart, shake her head, sigh and start talking about best before dates
4) Beer was not placed on the endangered species list
3) Snowden didn't release my tax files... (wait... why is Revenue Canada at my door?)
2) No one looked at any part of my body and said, “Implants, right?”
And last but not least, my favorite thing that didn't happen in 2013 (drum roll, please)
1) Rob Ford didn't raid my fridge.

4 comments:

  1. Used to love "My Favourite Martian"... but I was about eight at the time; I wonder if it would still hold up? I recognized the pic even before I read the list... showing my age, I guess! Thanks for the list, and Happy New Year to you, Rand!

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    1. Thank you Raymond – all the best, from one ol' fart to another!

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  2. Now I've got to take time to appreciate all these things that didn't happen to me in 2013. They didn't occur to me, but now I'm so glad that Revenue Canada isn't bothering me, but maybe mostly that I've successfully avoided Miley Cyrus. Have a happy new year Rand!

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