It's Time To Get Serious, Ain't It?

Exhibit 1(a)69, Part B: The Despicable Belly Laugh

I've been thinking a lot lately about being more grown up, acting more responsibly and setting goals so that I can live a more planned, productive life. After much thought I realize that in order to do so I have to lose the lighthearted stuff. Because we can get carried away, especially when in the company of others who don't possess a sense of humor, who would look upon us laughers as worthless goofballs who are full of nonsense. (Which we are, of course, it's just they say it with such distaste.) And they say things like, "Oh don't encourage him." and roll their eyes, smile politely and give each other knowing looks.

After all, sheer hysteria may be just around the corner. Exhibiting such carefree behavior on a regular basis can be indicative of simple mindedness and may be signs of consumption of wine without cheese and crackers; unaccompanied by those little cocktail weenies.

You are susceptible to this boorish behavior if you wear fuzzy slippers to the mall, antennas on your head, collect joy buzzers and whoopie cushions, have the urge to listen to old Firesign Theater records, envision yourself in either the Life of Brian or A Fish Called Wanda and hoard old photos of Red Skelton, the Marx Brothers or Jonathan Winters or Art Carney. There are more symptoms but you get my drift.

Belly laughs are the worst. An indication of total loss of control. Exhibiting mirth is a weakness; detrimental to your public image. Normal people know that chuckles and giggles don't put money in the bank. Cracking up with a howl and roar doesn't get business done. Even a suppressed snort is unacceptable. If you're distinguished you might come up with a chortle or a titter or two (just to be polite and get past the moment) but that's about it.

So if you dabble in the black art of rolling in the aisles you are in constant peril of being undervalued. You probably began at an early age, doing things like dressing up Barbie in inappropriate ways, squirting milk out your nose and making rude noises with body parts. If you are amongst those who tell off-color jokes just to make someone split their sides and find fun places to hide cooked peas; you are in danger of going right 'round the bend.

So get serious. Please. I implore you. Before it's too late.