Pockets inhibit the sleek and tailored look that we seek as fashion-savvy consumers. Pockets commit the crime of interrupting the flow of the image sensitive eye with unsightly bulges. Because, while not evil in themselves, people tend to put things in them. How gauche.
Now that my entire summer wardrobe (from the waist down anyway) has been trashed, it seems to me (and then I'll leave it alone) that if your body is not sleek and tailored to begin with, one should be exempt from the sleek and tailored rule of dressing. Because, and I only say this because I have proven it to be true, if you attempt to place a sleek and tailored item of clothing on a unsleek and untailored body, one is apt to have stuff popping out. Displaced. In fact, there is some spandex out there that, if in close proximity, could theoretically put one's eye out. And I'm not talking about so-called "fat" people per se, although this whole thing about how the fashion industry and certain retail outlets (who will remain nameless) cater to the credo that in order to be cool and beautiful one has to be skinny is pretty ridiculous. I'm talking about people whose only "fault" is that their shape may not conform to other people's idea of ideal. That's where this all stems from, isn't it? I could go on about how large people are taught to dress so that they appear less bulgy but I won't, except to say it will be a champion moment when the stigma of not being the "perfect" body shape was erased from our consciousness and folks were accepted for and allowed to celebrate whatever shape they are. Why, we might see an end to businesses that prey on people's feelings of inadequacy. And that would be a shame, wouldn't it?
But that's not what I wanted to talk about.
Pockets. An illustrious invention that appears in Middle English and is taken from a Norman diminutive of Old French poke, or pouque. Historically, the term "pocket" referred to a pouch worn around the waist by women in the 17th C. They were so convenient they eventually migrated, as do all good things, to men's fashion (Scottish men are well known for their sporrans). They were more convenient than carrying around a sack (which one had to put down in the mud in order, for instance, to scratch two itchy places at once). Eventually though, as with all things that dangle, the strap on model became a nuisance and a temptation for young thieves running by with sharp knives. Luckily, absent-minded husbands who were forever forgetting to strap on their dangling pockets finally asked for them to be sewn directly into pieces of clothing. Practical. If it's sewn into your pants, chances are you won't forget it, unless of course you forget your pants. In which case you probably shouldn't be leaving the house anyway.
We need pockets. We line our pockets, attempt to have someone in our pocket, have out-of-pocket expenses, look for someone with deep ones and have money burn holes in them. We put hands into them to keep warm and to jingle pocket change while thinking. Pockets are an integral part of our cultural identity. They should be made bigger. We should be wearing pockets that happen to have shorts and pants attached. People would say, "Hey, sharp pockets you have there! Where can I buy pockets like that?"
But no. The fashion police are attempting to banish them because they cause unsightly bulges when people erroneously put stuff into them. And what do they offer in return?
Dangling things?
Thought we learned that lesson about 400 years ago.
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you are too funny Rand but you are also so VERY RIGHT. Lets face it fashion police should check themselves out. When you put a style out there,,, well I figure its ours to do with what we want. If we want to ware them 20 years after then so be it!
ReplyDeleteI also have issues with purses. What are your thoughts on them Rand?
I have been using a nap-sack since high school. Now I have progressed past the army surplus ones and have leather but I still have nap-sack. I have to carry my sketch book, my book to write in, a camera, a book to read and often tons of pens or markers. You can't fit that stuff in a purse!
Not that familiar with owning purses, although I was tortured by having to hold my mother's while she shopped for undergarments... I use a shoulder messenger bag when I have objects to carry that are too large for cargo pant pockets, which isn't often... I think I got the idea from Will Smith in "I am legend" (or he got the idea from me... can't remember. You'll have to ask him.)
Deletewill do! LOL
Deletep.s. so do you have a fascination with undergarments now?
I'm for pockets and putting stuff in them, but sometimes I have to wonder how much stuff can guys find to put in all those pockets in their shorts? Which of course has nothing to do with following the edicts of some weird person who likes to draw skinny girls in stupid outfits. Wear what you want and the fashion police will eventually make a few concessions like making clothes the sizes people actually are.
ReplyDelete