Saturday, March 15, 2014

If You Are An Alien Wondering About Cherries

I've had a number of inquiries about cherries lately. Cherries are edible and begin life as a flower called a cherry blossom. They are from the fruit family, with a skin on the outside and are kind of soft and juicy under that (when they are ripe) and a hard pit at their core (which you want to avoid biting on), and are grown on a tree, which is conveniently called a cherry tree. It is the sole responsibility of the cherry tree to grow cherries. Any other tree that tries to do that is faking it. Recently cherries that came from lemon trees were revealed not to be cherries at all. (They're pretty bitter about that.)

Cherries are the only fruit I know of, aside from oranges, (okay, and tangerines, peaches, and limes...) that have a color named after them (cherry red) and come with one of two personalities: sweet or tart. This orientation comes from their genes and is not a learned behavior. Both are very good when used to make a cherry pie; a dessert baked with a cherry-based filling instead of other things, like apples. Cherry pie is nice when enjoyed at a roadside diner with Agent Cooper sitting in booths with vinyl seats and accompanied with a damned fine cup of coffee (black).

Some things, such as cherry bombs, aren't related to the cherry family at all. These spherical shaped exploding fireworks, ranging in size from three-quarters-inch to one-and-one-half-inch (1.9 cm to 3.8 cm) in diameter. You light their fuse which causes the gun powder inside to go boom. Real cherries do not explode when you light them. Like cherry bombs, cherries are bad for cleaning out blockages in college dormitory toilets and clearing blocked sinuses. If you see a cherry with a fuse instead of a stem, do not eat it.

Cherries are seen as good things by humans and their names are included in special requests (pretty please with a cherry on top), describing something as pristine (that car is in cherry condition), and having a good life (a bowl of cherries). And then there is the incredible Neneh Cherry...


  1. I cherr--ish this blog and the guy who writes bro!

  2. Smiling at Rod's comment. Nice brother :) Now I'm having a serious need for a cherry pie made from sour cherries. Mmmm...