Wednesday, November 14, 2012

10 Things About Being A Superhero

There aren't enough superheroes in the world. If you're thinking about becoming one: good for you. It's not easy being a champion of truth and justice. You have to go around picking up litter, being nice to babies and cleaning up other people's messes all the time, often with no thanks. Time off is unheard of and you don't get overtime. In fact, it doesn't pay at all. It gets more difficult as time goes on to tell the bad guys from the good and sometimes you'll wonder why you keep saving the world.

And when you get older you'll notice certain things:
1) The spandex doesn't fit quite like it once did
2) Kids have better technology than what's in your secret headquarters
3) Taking the elevator makes more sense than jumping from tall buildings
4) Post nasal drip is no fun when you're wearing a mask
5) The whole secret identity thing gets mistaken for duo personality disorder too often
6) Chicks snicker when they check out your butt
7) Your utility belt keeps sticking in your back whenever you sit down
8) The damned cape keeps getting stuck in doors
9) You get real tired hearing people tell you Halloween is over, and
10) Your arch enemies include old ladies with 9 items in an 8 item express checkout lane.

You can tell I shoot from the hip. I figure, forewarned is forearmed. Good luck out there. If you need a logo let me know.

4 comments:

  1. how is it you are such a delight? are you a superhero? come on, out with it!

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    1. Ha! Thanks! (I can only tell you I am in possession of a secret decoder ring, but shhhhh...)

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  2. Replies
    1. Next you'll say the diamond tiara is as well...

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