Tuesday, August 21, 2012
I am looking to find my forever friend. I'm looking for a casual relationship first, maybe a few fruit bowl nights to begin. Maybe a few cocktails. Maybe more later.
About me: I am smaller than your average orange so if you like 'em compact – I'm for you! I am firm to slightly soft, and my complexion is a perfect pebbly-skinned with no deep grooves. Once we get to know each other I'm real easy to peel. Sorry, I don't mean anything sexual by this, it's just a natural thing.
My reason for placing this ad? I've been in a few sour relationships and have seen the effects of those and would like to meet my ideal true love before I just decide to dry up and seek the compost.
Us of the murcott variety love to party and make a great centerpiece. We're real fun in the kitchen and do a mean salad, dessert and main course. Our ancestors date originally from Tangier, a seaport in Morocco, but we have lived all over and our kind is known to be very hearty (so you won't have to worry about health care costs). My family has been in North America for quite a while, our immigration in 1883 was sponsored by a missionary, Rev. Barrington, coming from China. How great is that? We ain't no slouch academically neither. We're into studies for type 2 diabetes and heart disease.
I'm looking for a fun person for nights out with lotsa muscle to squeeze me tight. You must like Tangerine Dream, that song from Led Zeppelin and deplore oranges, lemons, limes and all other citrus posers. (How many times did you leave one of those in a lunchbox or dangling from a cocktail glass?) I ain't no garnish and they have no umphhhh. We tangerines are full of taste, fun, have an impromptu savoir faire, and we're a lot sweeter too.
Drop me a line if you think we might have something in common... I love you already,
Posted by Rand MacIvor at 11:34 PM