Pick The Voices You Hear

Reading is so 20th Century. We here at Computer Wizard Guru Word Of The Digital Future Now Plus Magazine have just tried out a beta version of a new set of computer voices that will soon be coming to an online store near you. And it's a doozy! The Compubabble package allows you to customize your computer listening experience and upgrade it to the twenty-first century.

The unique and natural voices of Compubabble come as a set of four. Pick one to correspond to the site you are viewing: 
1) Canary. This singing voice is ideal for surfing lyric sites or for transcripts of operas or musical extravaganzas. Listen in wonder as Canary sings the words of any musical script you view. (The fact the tune always sounds like Wayne Newton's hit Danke Schoen will seem normal after a while.) Also useful for poetry and those doom and gloom sites you used to hate.
2) Catcall (also called The Heckler). When you're viewing live sporting event feeds, film reviews, movie articles, humor publications, transcripts or speeches, this voice also adds interesting sound effects, trash talk and rude phrases amongst page content. Pick from Boston, Bronx and The Knights Who Say "Ni!" accents. Install on your GPS unit to liven up long drives.
3) Yakkety-yak. If you find reading gossip pages, lengthy business reports or IT articles irritating and tiresome, try having this voice read them to you. This fast-talking son-of-a-gun doesn't bother distinguishing between vowels and consonants, and doesn't stop at periods. A truly breathless experience. Perfect for shortening a 15 minute read to under 3. Sure to be a favorite of speed readers and those who just don't like punctuation. It's about time!
4) Lovey-dovey. Listen to your favorite Harlequin e-Books or sexy sites with this sultry voice and compound your experience. If you need to pause the reading in order to freshen up your mocha java, it will provide a background of heavy breathing, groans and delightful squeals until you choose to continue. Also adds interesting verve to lengthy scientific research studies. Available in male, female and androgynous characterizations.  

Update: For an even more interesting listen, there is a 'revolve' setting where every new sentence is read by a different voice. Enjoy!