Thursday, April 28, 2011
Luckily they caught my good side.
At last I may have found my true calling. We have hair models, eye models, hand models and foot models for different purposes. I may be the first person in history who makes his debut by literally backing into the business as a "butt model."
Anyone know a good agent? (haha)
Posted by Rand MacIvor at 9:46 AM
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Posted by Rand MacIvor at 1:19 PM
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
No matter who we are or how genuine our intentions, there will be those who will consider our opinions, tweets, chatter and smiles and posts as... well, drivel of a male bovine nature.
It only takes a bad choice of words or a cranky reader's eye to enter the world of the misinterpreted.
Let us recognize bull for what it is; just another form of communication. One without a lot of meaning of course, but gee whiz Wally, we get enough meaning from things like the back of cereal boxes and television commercials about the dangers of STDs. Face it, we all have the capability to produce it and sometimes it's just plain fun. Let's remove the stigma and let the stuff flow freely.
Embrace your inner bull!
And let us also celebrate the bull in others. If we don't find a posting has enough bull, let us contact the person and say "I'm sorry but your post doesn't have enough bull. Could you please add more?"
I'm sure it will catch on. Remember where you heard it first.
Posted by Rand MacIvor at 7:50 AM
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Posted by Rand MacIvor at 10:22 AM
Friday, April 22, 2011
Meet Mr. Samples. He is a linen maché construction made from old things and a piece of myself all in one. I'll explain the latter below. (It's a surprise.)
Years before the recycling craze; crazy people kept stuff. Ask any artist, crafts person or inventor – you may never know when something might be useful. Get into a project and look around at the stuff you've got on hand to see if you can use it.
In this case; some sticks for a frame, left overs from a spool of stovepipe wire and screws to bind together the parts, some newspaper for padding, a set of well-used bedsheets (the older and smoother the better) for a skin, scraps of cloth for a costume, a secret recipe for the maché and some leftover acrylic paint somehow worked together to create a personality. I think there is some old anchor chain in his butt for weight.
So... recycling over again has many meanings – for clowns like me anyway... Just saying.
Posted by Rand MacIvor at 10:36 PM
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Turns out being adverse to 'happy' is a good thing because the more cheerful you are the fewer days you may have on earth.
According to an 80 year study those who are serious are more likely to outlive those who are happy.
I've always maintained that feeling happy is an unnatural state, one to be avoided. Sure I have my happy moments but I have always tried to keep them to a minimum. And now, with this study on longevity, I feel vindicated.
As I get older I have made unhappiness into a fine art. I practice my scowl and growl in the mirror everyday. I do not turn my frown upside down. I detest sunny days. I celebrate my irritability and negativity with fast food and unhealthy inactivity. To my mind, Happy is next to Dopey on the Seven Dwarf scale. When someone smiles at me I wonder what they want. I do not consider it to be my responsibility to cheer other people up, nor is it other people's duty to make me happy.
And if my misery should make others happy, this is an unintended byproduct and I should not be held responsible should they suffer an early demise.
Posted by Rand MacIvor at 7:39 AM
Monday, April 18, 2011
Posted by Rand MacIvor at 9:45 PM
Friday, April 15, 2011
Peeling paint, rusted barbed wire, broken pavement, hidden weeds...
...this is the proverbial poverty three blocks away from the bright lights.
This is life. This is honest. This is the back door.
Posted by Rand MacIvor at 5:36 PM
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Okay, we're taught from childhood not to get dirty. Stains are not only bad, but the worst case of dirty. Tough to clean and something to be avoided.
Throughout our lives we run the gamut from childhood grass stains on our knees to coffee and tea stains as adults. I believed until now that blueberry stains were the worst.
It's a rule. Stains are bad.
|Stained Glass Art by Donald Ross MacIvor|
He was like that. He tried to find a use for everything. Rugs from bits of cloth. A chess board from scraps of wood. Maple leaves and lampshades from stained glass.
I've sort of grown fond of these pieces I have from him. Even though they're stained, I wouldn't part with them for the world...
Posted by Rand MacIvor at 5:33 PM
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
How well can we expect ourselves to right the world's wrongs, paint a masterpiece or concentrate on making life better for others when we have someone on our back or feel left out? Not very well, eh?
Relax. Evidently, there's a reason for that.
As the theory goes, when your brain becomes wrapped up in BS or feels excluded, it uses up glucose and oxygen at an amazing rate, starving your powers of insight and problem solving. (It's akin to the pain reaction, called the threat reaction.) The old gray matter just doesn't have enough gusto left over for the good stuff. It's left gasping.
Positive things, on the other hand, can cause your brain to release something called oxytocin, the so-called “cuddle chemical”. Contact in the form of hugs, kudos or simply being included in a discussion or activity can cause such a release and the effect on behavior is a heightened feeling of trust, empathy and generosity. Boom. Your brain now has the full use of the glucose and oxygen so you can be better at whatever you want to be better at.
Social Media, whether it be interacting on blogs, on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter or the hundreds of other sites out there (especially if you know nice people) can help you feel 'with it' and apply yourself better in your other activities. Like solving the world's problems. Or coming up with a new use for the ordinary household pickle.
So come on now, give us a hug and get back to doing good! :o)
Posted by Rand MacIvor at 6:47 PM
Sunday, April 10, 2011
We are truly the chosen ones. We put the most in uppermost. Technology not only serves up quick solutions for our daily lives but a whole new language... ah... without actual words involved.
After all, words are so... so... cumbersome, aren't they? Finding the right ones often takes too long and even then we may still be misunderstood.
Acronyms have been around for over 6000 years and until recently were reserved for official things like larger corporations – NBC, IBM, GMC... It was a pretty cool idea for a secretary who had to answer the telephone several dozen times a day. It's only been within the last 50 years or so (thanks to social media, methinks) that the practice has seeped into our daily lives.
We all know the more common ones – OMG, LOL, LMAO, ROFL, WTF – phrases that have been incorporated into our daily email, text mail and notes. The number of acronyms in our daily vernacular are simply TNTC (Too Numerous To Count). There is a new dictionary. Language is being reduced.
Keep this to yourself, but this is actually the first step in an evolutionary trend where pretty soon both words and acronyms will be passé. The use of keyboards and voice boxes will be seen as second class. Technology will give us the key to replace not only writing but talking. Speech, emails, text messages and all forms of communication will all be replaced by impulse transference. Computers will cease to be external devices but chips implanted in our brains. We will become directly linked to the WWW, our physical location and condition will not matter and we will become BLOBs (Big Lumps Of Blubber).
TIFM (Take It From Me) if you have stock in anything hardware or fitness related – sell. TTFN.
Posted by Rand MacIvor at 9:52 AM
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Call me nuts but when writing for broadcast, I try to imagine how it will sound.
When it comes time to make those voices real (in studio), small things like pronunciation, tone, feeling, inflection and timing all come together to make the words either flow into a stream of wonder or sit in a puddle as a sad waste of breath. There are a myriad of ways to puddle a two-minute and twenty-two second read. The mathematical possibilities are mind-numbing. Sometimes, though, you get lucky and find the perfect voice from a wonderful talent.
And at the end of the session – the mark of a true pro: the man credits his brilliant read on a great script.
Wondering whether to invest in professional voice talent and audio production facilities for your broadcast projects? Invest. Definitely invest.
Personal thanks to Mark, studio whizzes Mike & Mike and team members Devin and Bryan.
Posted by Rand MacIvor at 7:50 PM
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
When I was younger I loved a wonderfully talented woman with a heart so huge that it could swallow all the ills of the world – given half a chance. We parted to follow our dreams and I often hoped we'd touch base later in life and share a few laughs. I learned last night that she took her life a few years ago.
Looking back, it seemed that time slowed down when I was with her. Little things meant more. A meal wasn't fast food but a chance to hope the waiter was slow to take our order. A drive in the country wasn't a bee-line to get from A to B but an opportunity for laughter, song and carry on and who the hell cared how long it took to get there? Creativity wasn't something fraught with worry but something to be playfully cherished. Smiles were magic. In times like these you want to stretch out the minutes, to make the most of them. To slow down time, to cherish the passions of life and to delay the moment when you have to part as much as you possibly can. This is Valentino Slow.
We all know that life can be cruel and sometimes it gets too fast for things to make sense. People are commodities in the fast paced world of wheeling and dealing. You're hot one moment and "who are you again?" the next. And sometimes, sensitive souls get bruised, or hurt or eaten. This doesn't happen when things go slow.
So I'm a slow lover.
If more of us took the time to go slow and love each other more, maybe we could stretch the time we have together.
Posted by Rand MacIvor at 6:50 PM
Monday, April 4, 2011
It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. Mostly it was cold. And dusty. And loud. And utterly inconvenient.
I know, I know: "Suck it up Barbie, you got new windows."
But get this – I was forced to witness people who actually work with their hands. They don't mind getting dirty and drive pick up trucks and work with large power tools that cut things and drill things and screw things. They work without the benefit of meetings, minutes of meetings, findings of committees, update memos or correspondence emails.
They use their both their brains and their muscles and don't take breaks at regular intervals. And they actually measure twice and cut once. They are both considerate and honest. What's more, they work until the job is done. And they do this everyday! For a living! Can you imagine?
But the most amazing thing about these people is that they work quite anonymously, without asking for fanfare, overt praise, nor press releases. They simply do their job and then take their leave quietly.
This is most disquieting. What if this should catch on? Why, it could be the ruining of the beautiful unscrupulous society we have nurtured for generations. Our beloved rapscallions, prima donnas and rascals may go out of vogue. What's more, it could utterly wreck the 'star system' of attention seekers the world over. This could be the end of self-love, for crying out loud sideways!
Watch out everyone, there are hard working people in our midst. Let us stay clear lest their goodness infects us all!
Posted by Rand MacIvor at 6:04 AM
Sunday, April 3, 2011
We can stop doing a lot of things. We can stop fidgeting. We can stop eating too many carbs and give up reading trashy dime store novels. We can stop making that strange noise we make with our tongue that we didn't know we were making until someone tells us. We can stop listening to what others tell us is good for us simply because they are usually right and that bugs us to no end.
But like the spring flower we can't stop growing. (Cute, eh – how I worked that in so smoothly?) The mere fact that we inhale and exhale in a regular fashion, means that we continue to grow out, grow in, grow up, or grow around. We learn; sometimes in spite of ourselves. Our figurative feet never stop moving. It's a mad dance and we're all shaking our booties.
For some that is a far prettier picture than for others....
Posted by Rand MacIvor at 9:59 AM
Friday, April 1, 2011
Tonight, or sometime over the weekend, take a little while to forget about oil changes, bills that need to be paid, light bulbs that need to be replaced, that nasty royal blue bedroom that needs to be painted and put those stinky toilet bowl brushes right out of your mind.
There is a kiddo inside of you that wants to just fool around for no good reason.
So, for an hour, a morning or even a whole day, boot that adult stuff out of the way and take time to laugh at will, to sing a song, to make rude noises, to bake cookies... to paint a picture... to be just plain silly.
There will be lots of time to be an adult again on Monday morning.
What do you do when you come out to play?
Posted by Rand MacIvor at 6:14 PM