Thursday, June 9, 2011

The Zippy-Dippy-Shower-All

When was the last time you had to go out on a sweltering day only to find yourself far from home in desperate need of a shower? Stop! Your worries are over. Now, with the mighty ZIPPY-DIPPY-SHOWER-ALL, you can take a refreshing shower no matter where you are.

No more messy water hoses at society garden parties, no more trespassing charges for dips in a stranger's pool, and no more embarrassing moments with the produce sprinklers in the vegetable aisles. 

This amazing, eco-friendly, patented invention will give you hours of pleasure! It's reusable, durable and comes with its own handy-dandy travel case complete with pocket for your favorite towel. ORDER NOW and get a collapsible 20 gallon water jug ABSOLUTELY FREE.

But WAIT! That's not all! Now that you're clean, you say you've worked up an appetite? NO problem! The Zippy-Dippy-Shower-All is made from recycled mac and cheese leftovers. Simply slip the refolded bag into boiling water and simmer for three hours. Instantly, you will have a sumptuous meal for four (remove zipper before consuming)! Comes in three delicious flavors: mac and cheese gruel, mac gruel with cheese, or cheese gruel with mac! Aren't hungry? NO PROBLEM! Simply boil for another hour and you'll have a tile grout for your home projects!



  1. This made me laugh out loud. A bit of a cross between Uh-Oh by Robert Fulghum and The Thing About Things.

    Rand, have you ever read Robert Fulghum (apart from his piece on Everything I Know I Learned in Kindergarten)? You gotta read his piece on Swiss Army Pants. Them and your Zippy-Dippy-Shower-All go hand in hand!

  2. Thanks Lynn Marie! Of course I know of Robert Fulghum, but will have to look up Swiss Army Pants! Sounds like fun just from the name!